If Only
by spunkyelf
Summary: Annabeth's P.O.V. Yes, Annabeth is a bit OOC. But she's supposed to be! Please read... I suck at summaries...
1. If Only

A/N:Read it...More at the bottom... 

If only…

If only I'd told **him**.

Told him how I'd felt.

Things might've been different.

Maybe.

From the way **he** looked when I glanced back…It looked like **he** was melting.

Is that good?

Or bad?

I need to talk to Silena… It's the one thing children of Athena don't understand.

Love.

Or, in my case, **Percy**.

**Seaweed Brain**.

I never thought I'd fall for a cliché - tall, dark, and handsome.

Well, kinda tall.

_She_ makes me want to puke.

_Short._

_Redhead._

_Rich._

_Perky._

_Cute._

_Artistic._

Everything I'm not.

**He's** always so happy around _her._

What about me?

Does **he** even know my phone number?

My cell?

Don't think so.

**He** would've called by now of **he** was alive and had access to a phone.

…Wouldn't **he**?

That just brings up more questions.

Is **he** with _Rachel_?

Another girl?

Is **he** dead?

Gods, I hope not.

But it's been two weeks.

There's not much chance **he's** alive.

**He** was shot out of a volcano.

Did it have to be a volcano?

Why couldn't it have been…I don't know, a giant crab?

That would've been fitting.

**Son of the Sea God.**

Killed by **his** own minions.

No.

Don't think like that, Annabeth.

**He's** alive.

I'm sure of it.

But…but then why am I doubting myself?

I never doubt.

I'm always right.

'Cuz I'm Annabeth Chase.

Daughter of Athena.

But doubting myself…

That brings up a world of possibilities.

And a ton of pictures.

Like the one.

My least favorite.

_**Them**_.

**Percy** and _Rachel_.

_**Prachel**_.

Blech.

_**Them**_.

Walking on the beach.

A place I know for a fact is **his** favorite.

_**They're**_ holding hands.

Fingers intertwined.

It's the picture that'll go on the wedding invitation.

I'll get one.

But I won't come.

Not if it would save my life.

Not for a million dollars.

Not to see the love of my life get married to a _rich man's daughter_.

A rich man who destroys places in the wild.

I know.

I know **he** doesn't know.

I know _she_ hasn't told **him** yet.

But _she_ will.

Sooner or later.

I know.

It's the way _she_ looks at **him**.

Do I look at **him** that way?

Do people notice?

Do they know?

Does _she_ know?

I know Clarrise knows.

She told me.

She said, "Ask him out, before the Aphrodites do."

I said, "They like him?"

She went, "Yeah! They say he's cute, nice, funny, powerful, and that he's got mad skillz."

I didn't believe her. "Really?"

She answered, "Well, I modified that last part. They said that he's skilled. But that's boring."

Too late now.

Tonight, we burn **his** shroud.

Oh, gods.

I don't want to do this.

What would **he** do?

If it was me?

I don't know.

I've heard the rumors.

About what happened last winter.

They say everyone thought I was dead.

Dead.

Except for **him**.

He didn't give up.

They said, "**You** won't find her.

She's gone.

Dead."

Ironic, isn't it?

I wasn't dead, and now **he** is.

Chiron asked me to speak at the burning.

I couldn't say no.

But I couldn't say yes.

I couldn't do it.

If I did, they'd see me cry.

I never cry.

Never.

I said yes anyway.

How stupid can I get?

If I cry, they'll all know.

If **he** comes back, it'll be during the burning.

I know.

**He** always reappears at the worst moments.

Right after I needed **him.**

Usually, it's about 5 minutes later.

This time, **he's** two weeks late.

That's a record.

But **he'll** be back.

I know.

I can feel it in my heart.

Does that mean something?

I think so.

But what?

Does **he** know how I feel?

Gods, I hope not.

That would be horrible.

Or would it?

Would **he** return the feeling?

Or not?

Will **he** come back?

Yes.

I think.

I hope.

If **he** does…

Is there a chance of **us**?

Do I want there to be a chance?

Yes.

No.

I don't know.

Chiron's here.

He's telling me it's time.

Have I really been sitting here that long?

I sat down at about noon.

It's 7:30 now.

Gods.

I hope I don't cry.

If I do, I'll kill anyone who teases me.

And him, when he shows up.

He'll be worse than the rest.

He'll see it, then deny it, then erase it from his memory.

Would it be better if he knew?

If only…

If only… so many things I want start with that.

If only I could see the Oracle.

If only he understood my feelings.

If only Luke wasn't an evil jerk who plays with people's emotions.

If only Chiron would tell me what he knows.

He knows something, all right.

I know.

I can see it in his eyes every time he talks to me.

I bet Aphrodite had something to do with this.

He was lying about what he said to her.

In the desert, in her car.

She doesn't just waltz in on a quest to congratulate people.

Or to give them advice.

No.

She was asking him about me.

I'm sure of it.

It's why he looked so weird afterward.

I have to speak now.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

My mouth is moving of its own accord.

I almost can't hear myself.

Something about being the bravest friend ever.

And then I see him.

Cue embarrassment.

Yay.

Now he'll know for sure.

After he explained it to us, I hid.

I heard Chiron talking to him.

He said, "She's jealous, my boy."

Chiron knows.

He said "What?"

Ha!

Ah, Percy.

So clueless.

So oblivious,

So… seaweed-y.

But I love him for it.

And he still has no idea.

Well, maybe an inkling.

Isn't it better this way?

Whoa… I'm getting a sense of redundancy.

From my own brain.

That never happens.

Thank gods he's not dead.

My life would suck without him.

A/N: So what'd you think? Please tell me! But please don't be mean about it!

Errors...praise...reviews...pie...anything...

So the next one's gonna be a songfic. can you geuss which song and with which people? Tell me! the button's right there...


	2. If Only: Edited Version!

For anyone who doesn't want to read a rant, skip the A/N.

**A/N: OK. So, here's an edited version of this one-shot. I only did this because so many people complained about the bolding, underlining, and italicizing. I reread the story after I read all of my reviews, and I agree, it does kinda create a headache. Sorry for anyone to whom this story caused pain. And to all of my reviewers: I love you all, haters or not. Just you reviewing means a lot to me, because it means that you cared in one way or the other. Oops...I rambled...hehe...**

**P.S. I don't own PJO. *sob***

*.*.*.*.*

If only…

If only I'd told him.

Told him how I'd felt.

Things might've been different.

Maybe.

From the way he looked when I glanced back…It looked like he was melting.

Is that good?

Or bad?

I need to talk to Silena… It's the one thing children of Athena don't understand.

Love.

Or, in my case, Percy.

Seaweed Brain.

I never thought I'd fall for a cliché - tall, dark, and handsome.

Well, kinda tall.

She makes me want to puke.

Short.

Redhead.

Rich.

Perky.

Cute.

Artistic.

Everything I'm not.

He's always so happy around her.

What about me?

Does he even know my phone number?

My cell?

Don't think so.

He would've called by now of he was alive and had access to a phone.

…Wouldn't he?

That just brings up more questions.

Is he with Rache_l_?

Another girl?

Is he dead?

Gods, I hope not.

But it's been two weeks.

There's not much chance he's alive.

He was shot out of a volcano.

Did it have to be a volcano?

Why couldn't it have been…I don't know, a giant crab?

That would've been fitting.

Son of the Sea God.

Killed by his own minions.

No.

Don't think like that, Annabeth.

He's alive.

I'm sure of it.

But…but then why am I doubting myself?

I never doubt.

I'm always right.

'Cuz I'm Annabeth Chase.

Daughter of Athena.

But doubting myself…

That brings up a world of possibilities.

And a ton of pictures.

Like the one.

My least favorite.

Them.

Percy and Rachel.

Prachel.

Blech.

Them.

Walking on the beach.

A place I know for a fact is his favorite.

They're holding hands.

Fingers intertwined.

It's the picture that'll go on the wedding invitation.

I'll get one.

But I won't go.

Not if it would save my life.

Not for a million dollars.

Not to see the love of my life get married to a rich man's daughter.

A rich man who destroys places in the wild.

I know.

I know he doesn't know.

I know she hasn't told him yet.

But she will.

Sooner or later.

I know.

It's the way _she_ looks at him.

Do I look at him that way?

Do people notice?

Do they know?

Does she know?

I know Clarrise knows.

She told me.

She said, "Ask him out, before the Aphrodites do."

I said, "They like him?"

She went, "Yeah! They say he's cute, nice, funny, powerful, and that he's got mad skillz."

I didn't believe her. "Really?"

She answered, "Well, I modified that last part. They said that he's skilled. But that's boring."

Too late now.

Tonight, we burn his shroud.

Oh, gods.

I don't want to do this.

What would he do?

If it was me?

I don't know.

I've heard the rumors.

About what happened last winter.

They say everyone thought I was dead.

Dead.

Except for him.

He didn't give up.

They said, "You won't find her.

She's gone.

Dead."

Ironic, isn't it?

I wasn't dead, and now he is.

Chiron asked me to speak at the burning.

I couldn't say no.

But I couldn't say yes.

I couldn't do it.

If I did, they'd see me cry.

I never cry.

Never.

I said yes anyway.

How stupid can I get?

If I cry, they'll all know.

If he comes back, it'll be during the burning.

I know.

He always reappears at the worst moments.

Right after I needed him.

Usually, it's about 5 minutes later.

This time, he's two weeks late.

That's a record.

But he'll be back.

I know.

I can feel it in my heart.

Does that mean something?

I think so.

But what?

Does he know how I feel?

Gods, I hope not.

That would be horrible.

Or would it?

Would he return the feeling?

Or not?

Will he come back?

Yes.

I think.

I hope.

If he does…

Is there a chance of us?

Do I want there to be a chance?

Yes.

No.

I don't know.

Chiron's here.

He's telling me it's time.

Have I really been sitting here that long?

I sat down at about noon.

It's 7:30 now.

*.*.*.*.*

Gods.

I hope I don't cry.

If I do, I'll kill anyone who teases me.

And him, when he shows up.

He'll be worse than the rest.

He'll see it, then deny it, then erase it from his memory.

Would it be better if he knew?

If only…

If only… so many things I want start with that.

If only I could see the Oracle.

If only he understood my feelings.

If only Luke wasn't an evil jerk who plays with people's emotions.

If only Chiron would tell me what he knows.

He knows something, all right.

I know.

I can see it in his eyes every time he talks to me.

I bet Aphrodite had something to do with this.

He was lying about what he said to her.

In the desert, in her car.

She doesn't just waltz in on a quest to congratulate people.

Or to give them advice.

No.

She was asking him about me.

I'm sure of it.

It's why he looked so weird afterward.

I have to speak now.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

My mouth is moving of its own accord.

I almost can't hear myself.

Something about being the bravest and best friend ever.

And then I see him.

Cue embarrassment.

Yay.

Now he'll know for sure.

After he explained it to us, his plan, I hid.

I heard Chiron talking to him.

He said, "She's jealous, my boy."

Chiron knows.

He said "What?"

Ha!

Oh, Percy.

So clueless.

So oblivious.

So… seaweed-y.

But I love him for it.

And he still has no idea.

Well, maybe an inkling.

Isn't it better this way?

Whoa… I'm getting a sense of redundancy.

From my own brain.

That never happens.

Thank gods he's not dead.

My life would suck without him.

*.*.*.*.*

**A/N: So, what did you think? You understood better this time, without all of that other stuff, didn't you? And now: to explain Annabeth's OOC-ness! She's conflicted. She's confused. She's dstraught with pain and sadness and she doesnt know why. I got a review saying that this wasn't what Annabeth sounds like. I wholly agree with you. She's not supposed to sound like herself. And for those of you who read my other story, I'm sorry that I haven't updated in like ever, but I lost my copy of the book and then got major writer's block. I think it should be up soon, because I finally got around to posting this, so yeah. Sorry for rambling again. Bye! and please...oh, please push that wonderful gray button right there. it would help oh so much. :) **


End file.
